Most recently the news has been riddled with stories from groups like Black Lives Matter and La Raza with complaints about how white people have made their lives hell. I want to take them seriously but, I'm having a hard time because they're still using things whites have invented. If whites have made your lives so bad, wouldn't the first thing be to cut the cancer from your lives? I want to help you get rid of that cancer and thus, I have compiled a VERY small list of things to get you on your way to living whitey free. Don't be intimidated by the length of the list, it's going to help you in the long run.
First things first. NO MORE SPEAKING ENGLISH! Get those white words right the hell out of your mouth. Whew, doesn't that feel better? Wait, wait, wait La Raza....are you speaking Spanish? No, no, no!!! Those are whiteys words too! No more Latin based languages for you! Now, doesn't that feel better?
Next, get off ALL public assistance. You do not need whitey dollars keeping you down!
Now, onto the list. This is just to get you started. You'll have to research everything whites have invented to truly be whitey free. Make sure any employment you seek is only from non-whites and do not have these inventions either.
Air conditioning- Your summers will feel so much better without this invention, trust me.
Airplanes, automobiles subways, trains, steamboats & motorboats, helicopters, motorcycles, snow mobiles
ATMs, coins, paper money, credit cards
Prepared baby foods, any foods from Europe, frozen foods, hot dogs
Bandaids and other bandages with adhesive...those were racist anyways
Bras....let your titties fly free from this constrictive white man torture device
Buttons and button holes.....you don't need to keep your jeans up anyways
Oh wait, you don't need jeans....whitey invented that too!
Cameras, Film, camcorders
Tin cans, pop top cans
Cardboard....make your picket signs whitey free without this invention in your lives....They also invented Magic Markers by the way
Cellophane, foil, wax paper, Styrofoam
Cd's, Records, DVD's
CT Scans, MRIs, X-rays, defibulators, EKG's, Oxygen Tanks, hypodermic needles, insulin, heart transplants, pace makers, respirators, stethoscopes, synthetic skin, ultrasounds
Computers, Computer Mouse or should I say mice?
Television and Television remote
Glasses and Contact Lenses....just get laser surgery....oh wait, they invented that too. Eff it, just go blind and read brail.....oh sorry, they invented brail too. Guess you'll have to invent something then, sorry
Grocery Coupons....no more discounts from whitey! Only FULL price for you!
Fake diamonds, yes, rid your ears and watches of this ridiculous invention....oh wait, they invented watches too
Movie theaters....no more worrying about getting kicked out for being loud and obnoxious by screaming out during the movie
Cigarettes....no more Newports and blunts for you! Your lungs are so happy no without whitey
Fiber optics....you'll for sure have to research everything fiber optics is used in
Paper Envelopes and Postage Stamps....oh and The Post Office, UPS and Fed Ex too
Drive Through windows
Wire Coat Hangers
Ink, Ballpoint pens and pencils
Jell-O....nope Bill Cosby didn't invent it, sorry.
Washing Machines, Laundromats
Light Bulbs...remember, whitey invented candles and matches too so you'll have to find a new way to light your homes and offices
Linoleum...rid your floors of this ugly travesty
Locks and Keys
Margarine....you'll have to substitute with butter but I think whites invented that too
Baseball, Basketball, American Football
Electric tape, Scotch tape and wire
Oil Lamps and Oil wells
Ketchup and Mustard...and probably mayo too
Community Electrical Utilities
Post It Notes
Electric Razors....no fades needed
Safety Pins....you'll have to use unsafe pins from now on
Saxophones....no more smooth jazz for you
Slot Machines.....keep your debit cards, coins and paper money all for yourself....oh wait
Soap.....no more smelling like the white man
Mass produced steel
Electric and Gas stoves
Telephones, Cell Phones and Voicemail
Steel Plows and Tractors
Zamboni....sorry, can't play hockey now....wait, that might have been invented by whitey anyways, research to confirm
Now, before you go off on some inventions created by blacks, I want to educate you on their accomplishments so you know what inventions you can totally use....or not https://whitelocust.wordpress.com/black-invention-myths/
Ok, now that you have been given a starter list, go forth and cut that cancer out!! I'm anxious to find out how it's working out for you. Make sure to leave a comment here, but get an Asian to type it for you since you'll no longer be using computers.....or much else for that matter.